Dreaming big-ish dreams versus living real life

I have worked hard this summer since my last non-daily post.  I’ve been running between 3 & 5 times a week depending on life and weather. I have been working near full-time.  I have been doing Insanity with Supportive Husband Guy somewhere between 3 & 5 times a week on top of my running.  Then when time allowed I was riding the rail trail once a week or so with Supportive Husband Guy.  I am pleased with my activity.  I am also facing down reality once again.

My goal was to be able to run 10 miles by the end of August in order to decide what I was going to do with the Runner’s World Half Marathon in October.  I’m disappointed to say that I ended August 2 miles short of my 10 mile goal.  I am confident that I am able to reach 10 miles by the end of September.  My ability to cover the distance was going to be the deciding factor in whether I participated in the Runner’s World Half.  Ultimately fitness had nothing to do with my decision.  The decision was made by family and finances.  At first I felt like I was making excuses, trying to find a way out of this crazy idea I had in July.  Then I really tough on it and they are not excuses they are the responsible response to living life as a parent of three, wife of one and freelancer.  I will not be participating in the Runner’s World Half in October.  I want to run it.  I will be fit enough to run 13.1 miles in the time the safety crew will be out but, instead of following my crazy desire I am staying home with the kids, going to a soccer game or two and wishing my husband safe travels to our family cabin for him to celebrate his birthday with a a good buddy.
I am not without a goal.  I simply haven’t decided what my next goal is.  There is also a part of me that is wondering if I still need an external goal to stay on this path of fitness and health.  I’ve found over the summer that I can only go about 3 days without a solid time of dripping sweat and elevated heart-rate until my body starts screaming for it.  So, have I successfully changed my habits enough to stick for the long haul without a purpose other than “I want this”?  I don’t know.  I’m not ready to find out because it is way easier to lose fitness level than rebuild it.  I’m currently looking at our family schedule and researching races and events that interest me for late 2012 and into 2013.

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